Chronic Perspective focuses on the tension and trauma that I hold in my queer, trans, chronically sick, white, disabled body. This work uses photographic imagery from an Iphone that I then turn into paint-by-number canvases. These photographic paintings speak to form, medium, and constitution and unintentionally begin to explore a history in which cisgender abielst subjectivity has dominated. I push up against traditional painting techniques and hold space for these to be seen beyond the trajectory of painting but rather of that of image-making.
Through taking these photographs, that due to the nature of being hospitalized and experiencing trauma, I do not remember taking, I offer a new self-narrative as I meticulously paint each image. My body becomes the subject of my own narrative, somehow objectifying my own body and point of view. My genderless body and perspective in each of these images show the disconnected nature of being hospitalized and the erasure of self, time, loss, and the vulnerability that a body has within this positionality.
There is repetitiveness in recreating these images into paintings that offers a deep reflection and metaphor to how trauma affects the mind and body. Additionally, paint-by-numbers is historically seen as a craft and I am using this form as means to an end and a way to challenge expected artistic ideals.
These paintings become a voice for myself to claim agency in my own historic experiences, regardless of my ability to remember the moments they occurred. There are currently thirteen paintings with the goal being to complete twenty-five total.